Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
