She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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