she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
