There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
The beer is more important than you right now.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
