big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
