You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize