Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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