haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Randomize
