Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize
