I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Randomize
