Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
