"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
