i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
