Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
