Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize
