If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
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