He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
