I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
