nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
