Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
