he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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