2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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