you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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