Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
