is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
two words...techno handjob
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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