she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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