yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
