My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Define "chronic" masturbator.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
