As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
