FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
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