that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
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