Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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