we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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