i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
