Whod you bang
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
