just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
