Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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