i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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