I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
