he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
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