awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
