last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
