great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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