I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
