He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
