A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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