just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
