wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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