We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
