I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
