Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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