He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
