i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
You made out with two different species that night
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
