office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
