And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
