found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
