If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
