wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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