ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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