Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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