They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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