blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Hippo gnu deer
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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