How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
