theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I have surprise drugs for everyone
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Randomize
