I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
she looked like the before picture.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
