and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
