Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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