it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Naked. naked and bneed help.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
