I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
