I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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